Musiq Soulchild- Buddy
Musiq Soulchild is back on the music scene with a video for his new single, Buddy. The video kind of has a “Just Friends” feel to it, except obviously he’s trying to be friends with benefits. The lyrics to this song are really not a good look to me, but maybe that’s just because I have zero tolerance for fools like that these days. The song is catchy, the beat is hot, and this one looks like it can be a hit for Musiq. It will at least give him the chance to have a second single. I like the fact that at least the lead chick in the video gives him a hard time at first, because anyone approaching a woman like that deserves a few eye rolls lol.
Check out the video and post your thoughts. What do you think of the Buddy concept? Fellas, would you be bold enough to come at a woman like this? Ladies, would you give a dude the time of day who basically just wanted to sex you and leave you? Is this the right song for Musiq to return to the music scene with?
Posted by Reecie
Now now Reecie, why the assumption that a dude will be the one to mastermind the approach of a woman in that manner. It’s 2007 and I am well aware that many women approach men to be proverbial “buddies.” I don’t think this is something that is just a “man” thing. I think there are more women out there, than we’d like to think, who’d rather the “hit and run.” Real talk…
I know i didn’t address the video at all but i think the questions you rose speak to fallacies/stereotypes that exist among men…I do not think it is safe to rule out the growing population of women who want to have a dude on the side and do her independent thang…
i just think that it’s not in a woman’s “sphere of influence” to want to have a “buddy.” but even with that said, there are many that break the mold and do they thing thing!
but to answer your question. lol….
“Is this the right song for Musiq to return to the music scene with?”
Hmm…im very familiar with Musiq’s music. (hehe) I think there is a very familiar and listenable air to it. I’d like to hear how this next cd plays out cause there isnt a lot about his music that earth shattering. Like i said, i think he has song hits under his belt but I think he really needs to push the envelope vocally and lyrics-wise this next go round…
“Now now Reecie, why the assumption that a dude will be the one to mastermind the approach of a woman in that manner.”
lol…you have a point there…but I raised the question in that manner mainly because Musiq is a guy who is singing the song. If Beyonce was singing it, then I would’ve flipped the question. I do think there are some women out there who wouldn’t mind this arrangement. The process of finding a relationship is a challenging one, so it can be tempting to just settle for this kind of “buddy” situation for the sake of instant gratification.
Personally, I think that being Buddies, means getting short end of the stick (for women mostly), because if you want more you’ve already pretty much killed your creditibility with that person so you have to move on. Also, “buddies”, are a distraction from the greater purpose (for some), which is finding someone who really wants something serious and real.
In my opinion…any woman that will go for this “buddy” situation is playing herself. At first it may seem like a good idea or as Musiq put it, “mutually beneficial arrangement”…but over time, she will realize that it’s really not a good look. It’s degrading, it’s demoralizing, and it’s just destructive to one’s self esteem and self worth. I’m sure some will disagree, but that’s my 37 cents!
actually 67 cents but who’s counting….
Most guys I know have a fascination with the one-night stand. I see on a regular basis men being very forward like this, but mainly on a one shot premise.
Never understood “one and done” deal. I personally would like to get a beautiful women on tap for multiple encounters. I even carry three condoms in my wallet because I’m not a “wham bam thank ma’am” kinda guy. I’m a “wham bam, here I come again ma’am” kinda guy.
Why only once? I mean if a women sleeps with you once, it is not exactly like she won’t be willing to again. Obviously she finds some appeal in you. I always thought the same thing about oral sex. Why would I settle for some head? I mean penetration is the name of the game, and it is not like she gets any enjoyment from sucking your dick. So remember fellow men, if you get getting head, it isn’t that hard to take it farther.
Sorry for the crudeness but it is all true.
*Word around town is that Musiq was wack last week in Atlanta, but Robin Thicke was on the undercard so im sure that was a hard act to follow.
lol Front…at leats you were honest. Have only done one night stands when I was younger….but it was never a frequent occurence and I much preferred having sex with a person I know and love. Back to the song, I feel Musiq maybe trying a bit too hard to have a commercial hit…I am not totally feeling this and I know he is soo much better than this.
Front, I appreciate the Real Talk. I am one who feels that it is self-destructive to censor around a certain sex. If someone finds you to be a little “curt,” then so be it. There are plenty who will find it appealing, and will respect you for being strait-up, and not stringing them along.
Back to the music…
Although it was not one of his greatest songs/videos, it is catchy enough to attract significant attention and a couple spins on the radio. This song reminds me of say, a Mario “Just a Friend 2002.” Its hairline above par.
This song is suspect, as in borderline DL.
Musiq is a dime a dozen.
what do you mean MauriceMichaels? suspect how?
I love the beat and the feel to this song, but the lyrics are wack. I’m not really feelin his whole approach here. I have heard the remix with Fat Joe & Ja Rule though, and I can’t lie that song gets me goin.
“Front, I appreciate the Real Talk. I am one who feels that it is self-destructive to censor around a certain sex. If someone finds you to be a little “curt,” then so be it. There are plenty who will find it appealing, and will respect you for being strait-up, and not stringing them along.”
I co-sign that!
hey wats hannein i love this video and i like the song it self and this is my next song but holla back iight peace
[...] Musiq Soulchild- Buddy Filed under: R&B/Soul, Music [...]
Let me flip my answers: I can’t speak to Musiq’s music cuz this is the first I’ve heard from him, #1. #2, The track is a catchy tune and will do alright w/ airplay if that’s what you want to gauge. Someone mentioned “pushing the envelope” and this track certainly does not do that. So that’s my 2c.
Now, the “buddy arrangement” points you make are way off base imo.
Since you asked [what appears to be] a sincere question, I’ll answer it.
First of a one night stand is a one night stand. A Buddy arrangement is not that.
A Buddy is a friend, and that means you and she will be around again and again. Just because sex is part of the program or even the bulk of the program does NOT make it disrespectful or denigrating. Why should a woman be degraded for exploring her sexuality? That’s stereotypical, double standard BS, imo. I’ve enjoyed unlocking deep sexual experiences for/with women that probably would NEVER have happened in a [standard] “relationship”.
Further, the “Arrangements” I’ve had with women are all special to me and I cherish every one. I would not expend my time on a woman not worthy of it. For the record I’ve had ONE one night stand in the last 5 or so years. I’ve had about 10 Buddies in that time. Not a single one ended with any bitterness or animosity, though not all wanted to keep in touch. Just as we respected each other together, we must respect each other apart. I may wish it were otherwise, but I cherish our time together nonetheless.
The last “Buddy” I was with, recently moved back to her home in FL. We spent over a year getting to know each other and exploring each other. Intellectually, sexually, emotionally. She IS an amazing girl. She was in NY to try her career in dance and modeling which never kicked off hard enough to gain her fam’s support. The fam back home wasn’t with it, bullshit bullshit, more bullshit, she went back. So, would you prefer that for that past year I’d have strung her along telling her that I loved her and she was my one and only, blah blah blah? She’s an adult, I’m an adult. Right now my work is what I’m about and at the time her work was the same to her. In fact it would be patently UNFAIR and DESPICABLE of me to lead a woman to believe anything else at this juncture of my life. And I’m sure you’re not advocating for me to be unfair or despicable, are you..?
Right now I’m in the middle of starting up a company, and I’ll be wrapped for at least the next 2 or 3 years on that grind. And I’ll be distracted from it for NO ONE. So? Should I join a monastery? Should I be celibate? Or should I just jump from 1 nite stand to 1ns and just “go through” a few hundred women in the next few years? Bang ‘em and beat it? Use ‘em for thier bodies and be out…? Sorry pal. I’d rather get to know a handful of special women whom I can call my Buddy, that I can just watch a flick with if that’s our pref tonite or I can pin to the headboard for hours on end when that’s the itch. And for the benefit of those who WON’T think, my pref and her pref for the nite WILL line up. If not, the arrangement doesn’t work. For either of us. And sometimes you compromise a bit (gee, like a real relationship?? Yes, like a real relationship. We ARE *BOTH* human beings. Civil, ADULT, human beings. And a man CAN actually keep his schwing in his drawers sometimes, even with a woman in the room. It’s not emasculating, it’s called self control. And you might even find that women respect it…..lol. You might even get to find out that it turns many women on, but I won’t bore you with that….)
Quite frankly I think your insinuation of a woman who gets into such an arrangement as shallow and/or degrading, is in itself a shallow and denigrating, if not entirely belittling statement. Perhaps it’s just projecting your fears/views onto the world. I don’t really care. Just watch who you talk down to. It’s really not your place to judge, and you should be very mindful that such judgments stigmatize, especially women, and can cause endless guilt over something for which no one should ever need to apologize. Please try to be more socially responsible toward your peers and others w/ whom you share the planet.
Now if a woman is not down w/ this kind of program, she’ll tell you. And if she is, and woman enough to know it, she’ll tell you too, though society (read: People like you) have stigmatized and labeled such actions, so that someone like me, who’s intentions are benign if not noble, actually has to jump hurdles sometimes just to get a woman on the same page as me. Mind you I’m not talking about convincing her of anything, just clarifying where *I’m* coming from and that just using her body for a sperm dump is about as far from my intentions as anything could be. In fact just the opposite. If we don’t click mentally, if she doesn’t “spark” w/ me intellectually, or be “The Complete Package”, she’ll never see the inside of my bedroom. She’ll probably never see inside my front door. I’m as much about not wasting her time as not wasting mine. The 1ns IS a shallow and vapid endeavor. Finding a Buddy is as much work and can be as rewarding as finding “The One”. Sometimes it’s just not that time.
Now as far as Musiq goes, I hope his definition and mine are damned close. I don’t know, and it’s not my business, but it sounds to me like we’re in the same ballpark so I’ll run with that.
If anything I’ve said offends you (or anyone here for that matter), please consider that I meant nothing to be offensive.
However if you are, then I have touched on a nerve and I would beg that you take this for the thought provoking, constructive dialogue that I intended it to be and you go back and deeply think about what I’ve said. Your opinions may not change (nor should they have to), but in every case you will be a better person for having thought it out and you will earn the respect of myself and yourself in the process.
Thanks for the soapbox.
JAz in BK, NY
Reecie, I’ll apologize for and take back none of what I said above as content, though I might have worded somewhat differently had I known you were a woman when I wrote. The way I had my browser set up I did not see the avatar pictures till now and I actually thought you were a guy. Some of my “wording” choices are a bit crass to speak to a lady, and it is for that, and that alone that I wish to apologize to you.
Either way, I stand by everything I’ve said as I’ve spoken only truth. I hope you that you take it in the spirit it was said, and that, if nothing else it provokes thought and reflection.
JAz in BK
Jaz…You seemed to take my comments extremely personal despite the fact that I have no idea who you are. Personally, I wouldn’t call what you described a Buddy situation, I would call that having your cake and eating it too. You have the benefits of a relationship and the freedom to at any point say, “Well you’re not my girlfriend” and just do you…so I can understand why you defend your “romantic” approach so fiercely. From what it sounds like…the woman is down for the situation though…so more power to the both of you. But like I said…what you’re talking about is an entirely different debate.
At any rate…the only thing I take issue with you in your post is when you said:
“Quite frankly I think your insinuation of a woman who gets into such an arrangement as shallow and/or degrading, is in itself a shallow and denigrating, if not entirely belittling statement. Perhaps it’s just projecting your fears/views onto the world. I don’t really care.”
I did not say that a woman is shallow or is degrading herself by getting into the situation…I said that the situation itself is degrading (i.e. lowering in worth or value). Is that a harsh way of putting it? Yes…but that doesn’t make it any less true. What I’m saying is, as a woman, you shouldn’t kid yourself into thinking that a man places the same value on you as his “buddy” as he would if you were in a committed relationship…so by extension…you are in a degraded position. I know it doesn’t sound good when I put it like that, but I’m writing it here the same way I would tell a friend of mine if we were girl talking over martinis. Now…if that’s all that a woman is looking for, then more power to her…I’m certainly not downing her or judging her. However, if a woman wants more, then she should realize that being the buddy is probably not the best way to go about attaining a committed relationship. Your post proves exactly that point…you’re looking for a convenient arrangement that won’t interfere with what you want to focus on with your business…not a relationship…so how would being your Buddy help a woman that wants a relationship? It wouldn’t. Kudos to you for being honest and upfront about your intentions, but that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do as a person of integrity. So to your point of my statement being belittling…it’s not belittling, it is brutal honesty.
As far as projecting my “fears onto the world”…that’s completely not the case. What I’m doing is putting ladies up on GAME (and your post=GAME). Some ladies are playing the game themselves…and like I said before…more power to them…but some ladies are getting played and don’t even realize it.
“Just watch who you talk down to. It’s really not your place to judge, and you should be very mindful that such judgments stigmatize, especially women, and can cause endless guilt over something for which no one should ever need to apologize. Please try to be more socially responsible toward your peers and others w/ whom you share the planet.”
Kinda ironic that you tell me to watch who I talk down to, when your post was completely condescending towards me…not that I’m fazed by it…just pointing out the irony. To say that I’m stigmatizing, judging, or handing out guilt trips is just flat out off base. I just said that it’s not a good situation to put yourself in…that’s my opinion and like you, I’m not apologetic about it. And to your last point, to say that I should be more socially responsible and not say that it’s not a good thing to get involved in Buddy situations if you want a serious relationship, is probably the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. There was absolutely nothing remotely socially irresponsible about saying exercise caution in who you deal with and what situations you find yourself in. If comments like mine make it harder for guys who want to take advantage of women by proposing situations that are potentially detrimental to their esteem, then mission accomplished…surely the ladies will thank me later!
Reecie, your a bright girl and your reply shines with strong opinions and good points. I won’t speak to every one of them as we might end up here for a while but let me cherry pick a few to reply to:
“I would call that having your cake and eating it too. You have the benefits of a relationship and the freedom to at any point say, “Well you’re not my girlfriend” ”
- If what I’m describing is NOT a buddy situation, wtf is? Clearly when you said (in your orig. post) “Ladies, would you give a dude the time of day who basically just wanted to sex you and leave you?” You’re not conforming to my definition of buddy and, if I’m reading the track right, not to Musiq’s either. I think he’s saying something a lot closer to what I am than what you called out in your orig. post.
As for me taking it a bit personally: Yeah. but I been wrestling this for years now. Certainly before Musiq made it a track, and yes, it’s personal. Hope you understand
“What I’m saying is, as a woman, you shouldn’t kid yourself into thinking that a man places the same value on you as his “buddy” as he would if you were in a committed relationship…so by extension…you are in a degraded position.”
- Agreed
“However, if a woman wants more, then she should realize that being the buddy is probably not the best way to go about attaining a committed relationship.”
- Agreed
“so how would being your Buddy help a woman that wants a relationship? It wouldn’t”
- Agreed
- The point you seem to be missing though is that if a woman is seeking a relationship, she shouldn’t be in a buddy situ. If she’s with a buddy situ. I doubt she’s looking for a committed relationship. If she’s in a buddy situ, thinking she’s working it into a committed relationship, she’s delusional and certainly setting herself up for betrayal and disappointment. I also think that getting played by a guy at that point is not the biggest of her problems, and that she might need to look deeper inward for some clues as to how she got there in the first place.
Agreed?
“Kinda ironic that you tell me to watch who I talk down to, when your post was completely condescending towards me…”
- My post was not condescending towards you personally it was towards all people whe condescend on the buddy situ. labeling and morphing it into some variant of a one night stand. It’s not, and I patently resent it. If my words provoked you to think or to act then good, that’s what they were supposed to do. They were not, however, an attack on you personally. Sincere apologies if it sounded that way.
“There was absolutely nothing remotely socially irresponsible about saying exercise caution in who you deal with and what situations you find yourself in. If comments like mine make it harder for guys who want to take advantage of women by proposing situations that are potentially detrimental to their esteem, then mission accomplished…surely the ladies will thank me later!”
- Agreed; mostly.
we only differ in that I think it would be more responsible to point out that there are men that will position a 1ns or convenient sex arrangemen as a buddy arrangement, and to be wary of that. As it stands, your point sounds as if there is no such thing as a true buddy arrangement. I hope I’ve shown that, at least on my little 2 square feet of this planet, it truly does exist. And I think it does elsewhere as well, if you know how to look.
So, my version sounds like this:
Ladies: Not every man that says “lets be buddies” really means it. Some don’t know the meaning themselves and still other are just spittin game for the sake of game. Have your eyes open and know what’s up. A lot of times you might be getting played. So treat it like everything else and keep your heart close and safe. If it’s a relationship you’re looking for, then you know what’s up. A buddy BS is not it. Move on.
If you’re not looking to get into a relationship at all any time soon tho, there are some *real* *men* out there who will be a *true* *buddy* to you and you may find something you’ll forever know was worth not missing.
- Can we agree?
JAz
“So, my version sounds like this:
Ladies: Not every man that says “lets be buddies” really means it. Some don’t know the meaning themselves and still other are just spittin game for the sake of game. Have your eyes open and know what’s up. A lot of times you might be getting played. So treat it like everything else and keep your heart close and safe. If it’s a relationship you’re looking for, then you know what’s up. A buddy BS is not it. Move on.
If you’re not looking to get into a relationship at all any time soon tho, there are some *real* *men* out there who will be a *true* *buddy* to you and you may find something you’ll forever know was worth not missing.
- Can we agree?”
Sounds reasonable…nice way of clarifying your stance!
You’re a bright woman Reecie. Something more rare than I’d like to think exists in this world. I’m glad our paths crossed and maybe one day they will again.
Be well and always be beautiful. You get what you give, just usually more of it
Peace.
Here is a shocker. I am a married female of 16 years. I know that it is not socially acceptable to admit to having a “buddy”. My buddy is married as well. We have quite the arrangement. All the factors/responsibilities that come with marriage can be overwhelming. And, with your budy you can just enjoy each other and know there is and should not beb any drama or expectations. But, we do…. Musiq is just singing the truth. We say all i want is honesty. So honeslty if one was approached with this proposition we would be “offended”. But, if one lied to us and the arrangement was as such anyway you would feel like you’ve been “played”. But, if you just want to kick it with someone why not?